You should get yourself to Rehab

A few months ago we got a call from entrepreneur Veeno Suchdeve of West Babylon, New York. He was opening a self-serve frozen yogurt store at the mall and wanted a more provocative name than Spoon Me, which is quite possibly the best name ever created by Eat My Words. Veeno asked us to create a name he could monetize with branded merchandise that would appeal to teenage mallrats and bring in cold, hard cash. This was a hard order to fill, but we were up for the challenge. I immediately thought of the name Self Gratification, but Veeno thought it was a little too edgy. Then, inspired by my longtime addiction to frozen yogurt, aversion to alcohol, and fascination with Lindsey Lohan, I came up with the name Rehab. It was fun, fresh and scored 100% on the SMILE & SCRATCH test. (Rena created the equally fun tagline, “Get your fix.”) And our 12-stepper friends assured us that they didn’t find the name or tagline offensive or mean-spirited. We absolutely love the playful identity design, which was created by our talented go-to designer, John Luckett. By turning the R into an Rx symbol with a spoon, the logo instantly communicates that Rehab is related to food. (Hopefully no one interprets it as a coke, crack, or smack spoon.) If the name Rehab makes you smile, please show them some love and “like” them on their new Facebook page.

Debbie Does More Than Dallas…

If you’ve ever been stuck in voicemail hell, it may have been the voice of Debbie Irwin who told you to “Press 9 for customer service.” The voice of the Statue of Liberty, Debbie is one of most interesting people I’ve ever met. A former NYC stockbroker, she left Wall Street for Sesame Street when she started to have kids. After they were grown, she took a class in voiceovers and was not only hooked, she was hired. You can hear her voice on countless commercials, corporate videos, audio books, webspots, eLearning programs and more. Debbie Irwin the person is highly memorable. Unfortunately her business name, Debbie Irwin Voiceovers, was kinda forgettable. It didn’t shout out among her competitors or evoke her playful sense of humor. By rebranding her as Debbie Does Voiceovers, we gave her an instantly likable, loud, and unforgettable name that her clients love and love to talk about.

Not a good Valentine’s Day gift: Fat Pig Chocolate

Unless you want to break up with her, this is not a good gift…

Would you want to work in the “Harry Baals” building?

A former Indiana mayor who won four terms in the 1930s and 1950s is proving less popular with modern-day city leaders, who say they probably won’t name a new government center for him because of the jokes his moniker could inspire.

Harry Baals is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building in Fort Wayne, about 120 miles northeast of Indianapolis. But Deputy Mayor Beth Malloy said that probably won’t be enough to put the name of the city’s longest-tenured mayor on the center.

The issue is pronunciation. The former mayor pronounced his last name “balls.”

Supporters said it’s unfair that the former mayor can’t be recognized simply because his name makes some people snicker. But opponents fear that naming the center after Baals would make Fort Wayne the target of late-night television jokes.

“We realize that while Harry Baals was a respected mayor, not everyone outside of Fort Wayne will know that,” Malloy said Tuesday in a statement to The Associated Press. “We wanted to pick something that would reflect our pride in our community beyond the boundaries of Fort Wayne.”

An online site taking suggestions for names showed more than 1,000 votes Tuesday for the Harry Baals Government Center. That’s more than three times the votes received by the closest contender.

What do you think? Would you scratch Harry Baals?

Wet your whistle with Pee Cola

Thankfully Pee Cola from Ghana is actually cola (and cola colored) and not a Mountain Dew knock off. Best served at room temperature.

Thirst quenching? No. Hilarious? Yes!

A painfully funny name: Briss

Our main man Mik discovered this baby… Briss is a (snore) cross-platform open-source Java application that (aha!) trims PDFs so they fit better and are easier to read on your eReader. Fun! We love this reaction… “This is outrageous. PDF mutilation is inherently wrong! At least let him wait until he’s old enough to decide his own file size!!”

Do they use coat hangers to groom them?

“Doggie Dearest,” Manhattan a dog and cat grooming parlor, has a name that might appear innocent to some, but insiders (like our name spotter, Gary Castille), are in on the joke. Inspired by the campy cult classic film,”Mommy Dearest,” (a 1981 biographical drama about actress Joan Crawford),  Doggie Dearest is a nod to this infamous scene, as described on Wikipedia, “After Joan, cross-eyed and slathered in cold cream, stalks into Christina’s bedroom in the middle of the night and discovers one of the child’s dresses hanging on a wire hanger, she launches into a tirade, screaming at the girl, ‘I told you! No wire hangers, ever!’ She tears apart her closet and hits the girl with the hanger.”

This name makes me want to reach for the barf bag

Advertised on the back of a headrest is “Gold Embryo Corn Oil.” I’m not sure which Chinese airline this was on, but I do know the next time I’m in Shanghai, I won’t eat anything fried. Thanks to Risa Dimacali for sending this in and to her husband who wisely took a photo of it, as surely no one here would believe such a product existed.

Who wants to eat at Crabby Dicks?

Thanks to our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick (one of our favorite business names) for sending us photos of racy restaurant names. Our favorite one: Crabby’s Dicks, a Delaware landmark who is monetizing their name with t-shirts and attracting customers with free balls.

Here Comes Trouble – Naughtiest School Boy and Mean Girl Names

From BBC News

Teachers spot trouble in a name

British teachers think they can tell which pupils are likely to play up by looking at their names, a survey suggests.

The poll of 3,000 teachers found more than one in three expected pupils with certain names to be more disruptive.

Pupils called Callum, Connor, Jack, Chelsea, Courtney and Chardonnay were among some of the ones to watch.

The online survey by parenting club Bounty.com found 49% of UK teachers made assumptions about a child when they first looked down the register.

But it is not all bad news, with 57% of the teachers surveyed saying the naughtier children tended to be more popular than their better behaved peers.

More than a third said the naughtiest pupils were often the brightest and the more sensitive.

Naughty list

Many teachers (69%) said they had difficulty pronouncing some of the more obscure names chosen by parents.

And 71% of teachers admitted to have a private chuckle over some of the more unusual names.

The survey also asked teachers what the brightest children tended to be called, with Alexander, Adam, Christopher, Benjamin, Edward, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Emma, Hannah and Rebecca coming in as the brainiest names.

Names of the most popular children in the class included Jack, Daniel, Charlie, Callum, Emma, Charlotte, Hannah and Anna.

Faye Mingo from Bounty.com said: “Teachers are only human and make assumptions like the rest of us.

“Rightly or wrongly, most of us make assumptions based on something as simple as a person’s name and we base these on our previous experiences.

“It’s only natural for teachers to make judgments based on the behaviour and performance of former pupils with the same name, but I’m sure that they are happy for to be proved wrong.”